Happy marriage, successful business, and a luxurious lifestyle – Austrian born Gaby Burt had it all by her mid-30s. But then she suffered a breakdown, depression set in and all treatment failed, she had to face the repressed emotions to unlock its cause.
Gaby celebrating her 35th birthday at Thailand. “It looked like a golden life, but inside I was falling apart.”
Your life looks fine – even enviable – on the surface. Your friends would describe you as a successful person – you have a good career, support from your friends, good marriage, and a comfortable lifestyle. Yet despite it all, you have somehow failed to find true peace inside and you constantly feel that something is missing.
You’re a hardworking person and have everything you thought would make you happy – and yet happiness is the missing ingredient. The good news is that there is a radical and transforming way of understanding it, and of getting yourself unstuck, for good.
I know what this feels like. I was “stuck” myself for years until, when I was in my mid-30s, I suffered a complete breakdown. Nobody saw that coming – least of all myself – yet I found myself in a deep depression-like state with no idea on how to fix it. I just couldn’t figure out what was missing and why I didn’t feel fulfilled in my life.
I grew up in a small town of 4000 people in Austria in a very normal middle-class family. We didn’t fight much, we simply avoided expressing any strong emotion. I left home to continue my education. One of my first jobs was working as a stewardess, which in the 70s was a dream come true. The world became my oyster. In one of the trips, I met the man of my dreams, moved to England, and got married.
We started a business together. By the time I turned 30, we owned a chain of successful retail shops, lived in a big house, and took golfing vacations to other countries with our friends. It looked like a golden life, but inside I was falling apart.
What was wrong with me? I had grown up believing that showing your emotions is dangerous and that being a “nice person” is what it takes to get by in life. This strategy had caused a fundamental disconnect from whom I really was and had put me on my way into a perfect depression. Like many other people, I was living in a gray area – too afraid to fully feel and express any strong emotion, which left me stuck somewhere in the middle.
SYMPTOMS OF REPRESSED EMOTIONAL TRAUMA
|Anxiety. Are you feeling anxious, even when you’re safe?
Something is missing. Relatively happy, just not quite fulfilled and in constant search.
Rage. You generally keep it together, but when someone pushes you over the border you respond with rage.
Depression. Totally stuck, no motivation and no idea how to get out from this “black hole”.
Lack of purpose. Do you feel you living just a half-life with no clear direction?
Feeling unworthy. In constant need for validation from someone else.
Isolation. Do you feel lonely, but safer when you’re alone?
Procrastination. Frozen by inaction and indecision, even when it matters most
Disease. Illnesses happens where the cells are blocked.
By my mid-30s, I was externally at the peak of my success. We had just sold our business and with the money in the bank, the loans repaid, and the taxes settled – it seemed that it couldn’t get much better than that. Champagne flowed and everybody celebrated – but I sank into a dark depression.
I became so deeply disconnected from my true feelings that I actually didn’t feel anything. My marriage was in serious danger. I knew with my mind that I loved my husband, but I could no longer feel it in my heart. It felt like something was dead inside. The spark had vanished and with that also went the intimacy, the laughter, the joy, and happiness.
And it wasn’t just the marriage. I felt disconnected from everything, as if the whole world had turned gray and lost its meaning. Poor me, eh? I know that this isn’t the worst problem someone can have. But it did affect everything in my life. I didn’t have any serious health problem as a result of this unhappiness, but I felt that my whole life was about to fall apart and I had no idea how to stop it.
I tried everything: Our local GP, searching for medical information, reading books, visiting alternative health seminars, and even studying homeopathy for four years and then becoming a practitioner myself. While all this soul searching helped me to bring up deeper issues and even develop a slight arrogance of knowing better than most, I still felt that something was fundamentally missing.
I even studied homeopathy for four years and became a practitioner myself. Nothing worked.
Finally, after a series of therapeutic experiments and failures, I found myself at a Journey seminar in London, which is pioneered by Brandon Bays. This is where I discovered what was really making me feel so stuck with my life. I was suffering from energy blocks on a cellular level, caused by a habit of not freely expressing my emotions from a very young age. Rather than recovering from my negative experiences, they had become stored inside of me, causing trauma points that did not heal.
What I didn’t know then was that expressing our emotions freely is fundamentally important in our emotional and physical well-being. While emotion is actually just a simple sensation in the body, repressing it will drive it deeper into our subconscious, only to then come up more intensely later.
From early on we’re trained to hide our negative emotions and get praise when we “behave,” so instead of fully experiencing the negative emotions, we’ve developed a long list of strategies to avoid them – we talk ourselves out of it, ignore it, blame someone else, get busy doing something else, eat, drink, or call a friend. As a result, the negative emotions are stored up inside, and get triggered in adult life by new negative experiences.
Gaby had a happy childhood, left, Gaby with her husband Cliff on their wedding day, right
This process has been extensively described by endocrinologist, Dr. Deepak Chopra, who has researched how the body reacts to emotional trauma. He discovered that if the emotion is not fully expressed, it causes our cell receptors to shut down, which over time can begin to create illness (emotional or physical), tension in the body, or unhealthy patterns of behavior.
So getting to the original painful memory and opening up the cell receptors is the way to heal. Brandon Bays had discovered a radical new method that every person can use to access the old cell memory and release the pain so the cell receptors open up and healing can take place naturally of its own accord, as the body is programmed to do. In 1992, Brandon Bays was diagnosed with a basketball-sized tumor and by intuitively listening to her body’s wisdom and using her experience from the natural health field, she completely healed in only six and half weeks. No drugs, no surgery, and no pain.
She soon discovered that the same process that allowed her to get in touch with the “Infinite Intelligence” of her body can be used by other people as well. Having begun with herself, Brandon Bays went on to test this radical treatment with clients and found again and again that problems such as anxiety, stress, emotional sensitivity, depression, many behavior problems, demotivation, and even serious health problems, could all be healed by the same process.
Since then, the Journey process has become a potent blend of cutting-edge tools and the true realization that human potential knows no bounds.
That was the same process that I learned from Brandon Bays at my first seminar. I did many processes to access the deepest memories, revisiting so many of my childhood traumas, and releasing the old cellular memories completely. It changed my life, and inspired me to dedicate my life to spreading the same method to people around the world. I’ve seen many examples of repressed memories over the years, and the physical and emotional problems that they bring.
Steven, in his late 30s, came to our seminar to find help for his marriage crisis. He considered himself a decent man, who always put his family first – and yet his relationship with his wife had become icy and distant, with both partners barely talking to each other. He was driving his wife away with his withdrawing behavior and occasional rages. Steven’s pattern was to hide his true feelings and “deal with them” alone. He avoided confrontation whenever he could and put on a smile even when he was deeply disturbed. These repressed emotions occasionally came out as rages that terrified his wife and children – but then he put on his “nice guy” mask again and life moved on.
Steven’s wife had cheated on him in the early stages of their relationship, before they got married and had children. While his wife had admitted this mistake and asked for forgiveness, Steven simply accepted it and hid his true pain. So this emotional trauma was never really processed and got repressed, creating a cellular memory that never healed. Although he was deeply in love with his wife, he never felt safe or wanted, unknowingly sabotaging his own happiness.
If an emotional trauma gets repressed, it creates a cellular memory that never heals.
With the Journey process, you go through a step-by-step process to pull back the emotional layers and open into your own soul, and from that place, clear out the emotional and physical blocks. Instead of dwelling on the stories that we’ve been telling to ourselves, we will work directly with the emotional traumas stored in our cells and release them completely. Steven became aware of the feeling of betrayal and rejection that he had felt at the time and was able to completely release it and find forgiveness.
While he worked through his marriage issues, he also discovered the roots of the real trauma from early childhood, and uncovered a pattern of betrayal and rejection that had followed him his entire life. Once we revisited these old cellular memories, his body was intelligent enough to do its work and release these old blockages entirely. Once released from his trauma, Steven’s rages and withdrawal disappeared, and he opened a whole new chapter with his wife, feeling more connected than they had ever felt as a couple.
Another client, Marie Bonselaar, came to our seminar in Canada after experiencing a personal loss and falling into deep depression. She had been suffering from anxiety and low self-esteem for years, but didn’t know what to do about it. She had spent much time reading self-help books to understand and analyze her issues – but had little results. Her anxiety and low confidence stemmed from her early life from a strained relationship with her mother.
She had to work with her issues from inside out, facing the childhood traumatic memories and releasing them for good.
She had been putting a lot of energy into avoiding the emotional pain from not having a close mother-daughter relationship. As a result, her life became emotionally strained in all other areas too. In her first Journey session, she went through the emotional layers of covering up the hurt, released the stored pain, and naturally came to a place of peace. In order for her depression to lift, she had to find the love and compassion from within and come to true forgiveness. This allowed her depression to disappear and also renewed her relationship with her mother, now free from the old stored pain.
While it’s possible to help yourself with some simple methods at home, for accessing deeply buried cellular memories, you need a partner to guide you through the process.
This is the big difference between this treatment and conventional therapies, where you will be talking to your therapist. Much of the conventional therapy happens from the “mind” level, while this radical treatment happens from the soul level. In order to be able to listen to our body’s wisdom, you need to be guided to the deepest level, to the level of the heart and soul. In this healing process, your mind will take a back seat. From this place, real healing can happen.
My story ended happily too. I became the director of the Journey four years after my first process and now my job takes me around the globe on a regular basis, meeting people from all over the world, who are using the same method to treat various traumas in their life. For me, it was like a new beginning and new start to life. I felt free, happy, and most importantly, I felt that I no longer needed to look for something. I had already found it. It was all right here inside of me.
My husband, first skeptical, went through the changes with me and it completely transformed our marriage. We’re more in love than ever and having seen how well I was doing with this therapy, he too started to undergo the Journey processes to uncover repressed memories from the past.
I now believe that everything you need to know to find happiness and fulfillment in all areas of your life is already inside of you. It takes love, patience, and support to recover from your past all the negative experiences, but it can be done. You don’t have to feel stuck, which is a nagging feeling somewhere deep inside. It doesn’t have to be a permanent part of your life. Our bodies are wise, they know exactly what to do – all you need to do is get out of your own way and let it happen. I did it, and so can you. The rewards are life-changing.